I’m doing quite a few of these right now so I might miss getting a few here. If you have youtube you can subscribe to keep up. I’m going by month written to keep it random and so I can celebrate a poem’s birthday lol.
This one just turned 16 three days ago
Trying to find
The source of this misery
Full of pain
Full of suffering
Where it did come from?
The answer is here
Follow the tracks
They must lead to the source
It had to start somewhere
My answer is here
The source of it all
But when I get there
All I can see
The start of it all
That source was me
I am the problem
I am all pain
I am all suffering
I am to blame
What is the solution?
“Is There Any Light Here?” (4/12/16) started off with the idea of feeling like darkness…and not feeling like light at all. I felt like darkness. Then I started to feel like I couldn’t be God’s light at all if I was just darkness. Then I pictured this long treacherous journey like Sam and Frodo took to Mordor…this long path full of pain and suffering that the light would have to take just to find me. And I wondered if I was worth the trouble. God answered me and said, “You bet you are worth it, I’ll take that route” and I saw the light taking the long difficult journey just to find me. And it ends with the fact that darkness can not survive if light is there.
Read an old poem “I am getting back up” for a poetry slam. I don’t think my heart can take these works getting ranked on a scale of 1-10. Probably not going to do a reading like that ever again. But I have a version with commentary on it so I figured I’d share it again.
I always talk about that an important part of dealing with depression is to keep fighting it, to keep to your schedule and commitments even when you don’t want to, to keep doing your hobbies and things you enjoy even if you don’t want to, to keep going even when you want to stop and give up everything. Literally every cell in your body is telling you to stop everything and give up, but you can’t let it win! And it is INCREDIBLY HARD to fight it. That’s probably why depression is so exhausting, because its an uphill battle fighting those voices that are screaming at you to lay down and give up.
more at https://eccentricsheepie.wordpress.com/2016/03/12/commentary-for-i-am-getting-back-up/
I guess Tumblr is blocking hashtags now. The problem is they are keeping me from sending messages of hope out to people because I can’t search certain hashtags anymore. A bit upsetting because I’m not sure if I’ll be able to continue doing hope messages over there anymore. I’ve sent over 1,000 messages in the last few years.
Its a small group that self harms compared to the entire population. If you looked at just youth its larger, but I still put it at around 1-2% of the whole population.
DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE SCARRED ONE PERCENT? IS THE SCARRED ONE PERCENT WORTH YOUR TIME?
God said he would spare an ENTIRE CITY just for a few people. THE SCARRED ONE PERCENT MEANS SOMETHING TO GOD.
God moves many many people around to be just in the right place to impact ONE PERSON. If God would do so much just to send a message to ONE PERCENT….THIS MEANS THE ONE PERCENT MEANS SOMETHING TO GOD.
So while it remains difficult to get people to move and act for the scarred one percent…fighting tooth and nail just for a few shares just to reach a few more people in hopes to find one more person that needs it, just remember that GOD IS WILLING TO MOVE MOUNTAINS AND MULTITUDES JUST FOR ONE OF HIS PRECIOUS CHILDREN BECAUSE THAT ONE MEANS EVERYTHING TO HIM.
Youtube link by itself. Disciple is an awesome Christian Rock band who always talks about self harm and cares about those struggling with it. They are who inspired me to do everything I do now. I had a chance to sit down with them and “combine forces” to make this really awesome video piece for self injury awareness day.
Filed under anxiety, cutting, depression, faith, God, hurt, Jesus, lonely, music, pain, self harm, self injury, suicidal, suicide, Uncategorized